Saturday, November 15, 2008

Guest Blogger: Profile of a Yoga Cop

"Dear Bananasana, my old friend... It's your favorite Yoga Cop.

I haven't made it to the Yoga place yet, but I now have solid plans to do so later this week. I am going to go the place where my younger sister Chuckette goes, she promises that they will be gentle with me. I thought I would give you a little pre-post here, to give your gentle readers some background so they will thoroughly appreciate my pain."

(Author's note, if you place editor's notes after each of my paragraphs like you so rudely did with your first guest writer, I will fully enlighten you in the experience of receiving a full nelson the next time you venture back home to the Enchanted Mitten).

(Ed Note: By "Enchanted Mitten", he means Michigan.)

(Author's note, there was no way I could make up a post without threatening you with physical harm, I thought I would get it out of the way early).

(Ed. Note: This is the type of relationship Chuck and I have enjoyed for decades.)

"So, although you painted a very flattering picture of me after I agreed to take on this challenge, I thought I would give a little more background info. By the way, thanks for the 200+ comment, you could have said 250+ and been more accurate."

"I consider myself to be a somewhat athletic person. In my younger days, I was the terror of my high school JV tennis and wrestling teams. I clearly remember that I wrestled in the 112 lb weight class, which isn't so bad, until I add the part where I was darn near six feet tall at the time. The next seven years saw me add on about 20 lbs per year, and I have spent my time since somewhere between 220 and 260. So the last time I had yoga-type physique, the Bananasana was just starting to get interested in girls."

"I manage to play in a few old person indoor soccer games from time to time and chase my four kids around. I am a firearms and subject control instructor at work which forces me to be at least slightly active. I recently started to try to get back into some kind of jogging shape. Two months ago I was in the worst shape of my life, due mainly to my own laziness with the kicker of having knee surgery as an excuse. Since then, I have been doing some walking/running workouts which have managed to move my gunbelt in a notch, which is good. Still have a long way to go though, and Yoga seems like it would be a good way to help me to my goal of (truthfully) saying that I weigh a little over 200 lbs."

"I am looking forward to the physical part more so than the spiritual. I am wondering how the hippie peace and love vibe will interact with my warrior have-a-plan-to-kill-everyone-you-meet type training. I am looking forward to having my chakras all loosened up and my chi centered, or whatever good stuff is supposed to happen after the class. I am hoping that it doesn't include an ambulance ride at any point.

Till next week, my little smart-mouthed friend,

Chuck Garbonzo"


Bananasana said...

You do me proud, Yoga cop. Just to be sure, I'm assuming you mean for me to post this on the blog, and so I will. call me out if I'm wrong and I'll take it down. I'm stoked to hear your take.

(Author's note: I will totally give annoying little comments to your blog, because how could I not, being as you don't want me to?)

yogadarla said...

go to yoga, yoga cop!
go to yoga, yoga cop!

i cant wait to hear it! bikram is pretty "bossy" for the Po', don't you think?

Bananasana said...

I can't say with any certainty what type of yoga the yoga cop will be doing. I can say with some measure of certainty that Chuck might go for that sort of bossiness.....

Darla said...

oh, i see. he's one of those who's likely to ask the yoga teacher to wear rubber. (as a bikram teacher, it's not a bad look) well, if he likes being dominated, he'll like the bikram.